Hello,

It's hard to tell your story when you find yourself in need of anothers help. It makes it worse when it's not even someone you know.

My life has been far from great, but it's really been the last 5 years that have had me wondering why I wake up in the morning. I was devorced, I have two kids. I lost my house because I was a stay at home mom, I didnt work I took care of our kids. It had never even crossed my mind. I had money and the house was mine. We decided to put up the house and monsy so he could go to school. worst mistake I ever made. He was gone all the time and one night I found out why, when his G/F called to tell me what was going on. I was heart broken to say the leaset. i could have died. I had a 5 year old and a 2 year old, no job, or experience and didn't want to fight him. I just said get out and never bothered with anything else. He did have me sighn a paper stating I was recieving support I just didnt car honestly life was over. I found myself falling farther and farther, drinking doing a very poor paying job. I thought...I cant do this, I cant give these babies anything nothing that I planned. He contacted me one night and said the kids didnt want to live with me anymore. I cried so much over the years nothing could make me cry anymore. I said "ok" . I later found out he lied to me. he had been looking for a house and couldnt get the lone unless he was the one with costody because of the debt toincome ratio. I'd loss my kids. I left my job. I was so depressed I couldnt sleep or get up. I felt like the world was falling on me. I wished it would. I gave my car back, I wasnt going to be here to need it. I ended up getting help for my depression after attempting suiside. Its helped a little but I'm always terrified of the depression. I know how hard it is for me to com out of it and how strong it takes hold. I dont have any friends and I honestly mean that. I dont have only 2 family members. One lives in Az the other is a distant cousin. My mom is here but has severe mental illnesses and live in a sober type living home. I cant even visit her. My father died when I was 16.... I dont talk to the ppl on dads side b/c they believe and have told me my whole life I'm not his... rude, huh, how do u say that to a kid.

Anyway thats the short of my story. I'm looking for any type of help anyone can offer. I havent bought a new piece of clothing in 5 years. I desperately need a car, but I know simpler is more doable.